Summer Lovin’: How to drama-proof your life, part 9

Lovin’ Type Nine: It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Fall is officially here, and as we close out our Summer Lovin’ series, we look to our Enneagram 9 Peacemaker friends. Often called the crown of the Enneagram, these grounded, spiritual types avoid conflict like the plague, and in doing so, can create even more of it.


Connection to your people – friends, family, team – drives you. Their happiness keeps the connection strong, so any of your desires, requests, questions or comments that might be disruptive are often left unsaid.

This lopsided happiness works until it doesn’t. Eventually, drama ensues because there can be no true connection if one person – you – isn’t showing up fully.

To drama-proof your life, what if you practiced checking in with yourself after meetings or at the end of the day? Simply ask yourself: Was there anything I felt, thought, or wanted to consider in that conversation, but did not say?”

If so, take a moment to think about the impact of your silence, both now and in the future. Does the absence of your truth create long-term harmony – or threaten it?

If the latter, consider writing a quick note requesting a further conversation or offering your thoughts. This will move you through the immobilizing fear of conflict into action – and create the space for the powerful insights, multi-faceted observations and grounded solutions only you can bring to the table.


Underneath the appeasing nature of your 9 friend, partner or colleague, there can be a frustrating stubbornness that creates more drama than either one of you might care to admit.

The 9 can be so averse to perceived conflict that they withhold even the simplest of requests and avoid conversations that might require changes in life or work.

What if, instead of getting louder when they get softer, you took a moment to calmly share how their instinctual silence and acquiescence impacts your connection to them? What if you brainstormed ways the two of you could partner in creating a safe space for them to share their truth? And what if, every time the 9 in your world was brave enough to be honest you honored their voice, and celebrated their courage?

You’ll remind the 9 you’re in the same boat, even, and especially, when it’s rocking.

Would you like to activate the superpowers on your team? Are you looking for more insights and tools on how to motivate, engage and lead your team? I’d love to chat with you!

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